Happy Monday!
Every SAM principal has dealt with a student having a meltdown. The student is too tired, too stressed and just too out of it to be their better self. This can happen to adults, too. In most cases, it doesn’t reach the level of a tantrum…but the effect on others is the same.
Many SAM principals know this can happen to them, too, if they don’t take preventative action. Scheduling 15 minutes of personal time in the middle of the day to get centered, focused and calm can make a world of difference in how the rest of the day turns out. Some principals make a point to do the same thing before going home so they don’t meltdown when engaging their significant other and family.
A recent article in the New York Times, End of Day Meltdowns Aren’t Just of Kids, provides three things you might do to be your best self at work and after. Thanks to Time Change Coach Dave Sechler, you’ll find the article at the end of today’s SamTastic Weekly Tip. Read the article and see how many of the three suggestions you’ve already built into your TimeTrack.
I enjoyed being a guest on author William Parker’s podcast, Principal Matters earlier this month. Here’s a link:
William is very impressive and has a wealth of ideas for school leaders. He will do an all-day pre-conference workshop at the 18th Annual National SAM Conference in January. He will also do two breakout sessions.
A message from NSIP Board President Bert Hendee: “Your NSIP Board of Directors met online Monday, September 30, 2024. We spent our time reviewing our own self-evaluation in order to grow in our performance as a board. In addition, we are continuously working to ensure our goals support the goals of NSIP. We can’t wait to see many of you at the National Conference in January in Miami!”
Remember: The deadline to submit conference flight information is December 1. Please send to: Travel@SamsConnect.com
Online SAM training this week: Buffalo, NY, Rochester, NY, Denver, CO, Baltimore, MD
In-person SAM Training this week: Chicago, IL
End-of-day meltdowns are not just for kids
By Jancee Dunn
It’s been a while since I really fell to pieces at the end of a long day. But I know the feeling, and I instantly recognized it when a colleague with young children told me about a concept called “after-school restraint collapse.”
The term, coined by the parenting expert Andrea Loewen Nair, describes the way kids can hold in their feelings all day at school and then release them by melting down at home.
After-school restraint collapse isn’t a formal diagnosis, but it’s a “common phenomenon,” said Rosanna Breaux, an assistant professor of psychology at Virginia Tech.
Could it be that adults do this, too?
Absolutely, said Kathryn Humphreys, an associate professor of psychology and human development at Vanderbilt University — though we’re more likely to be irritable or tense than to throw an all-out tantrum. That said, we might pick a fight with another member of our household, she added.
If you regularly melt down after a long day, experts share ways to head off the collapse.
Recognize when you’re white-knuckling it all day.
Do you go from one task to another without pausing? To avoid an implosion, make a point of taking “microbreaks,” or brief pauses where you change location, even just to get a drink of water, during the day, Dr. Breaux said.
A review of studies published in 2022 found that short breaks reduced mental fatigue and promoted well-being among workers. Taking microbreaks is good for your physical well-being too, and can help you to avoid dead butt syndrome.
Or, when you find stress ramping up, find a (relatively) quiet corner in your workplace or home for an oasis moment — a few calm minutes of daytime rest that can make you feel less depleted.
Establish an end-of-day routine.
When I leave my office, I work on the train until I arrive at my station, and then step directly into the maelstrom of my house — cooking, checking homework, doing random laundry that someone absolutely needs ready for the following day.
Instead, I should be building in a few minutes of transition time, Jennifer Blossom, an assistant professor of clinical psychology at the University of Maine, told me. This signals to your body and brain that you’re winding down and making the shift from work to home, she said.
She told me to close my laptop for the last few minutes of my commute, and do something enjoyable, like listening to a podcast or an audiobook.
When you arrive home, or sign off from your home office, check in with yourself, Dr. Humphreys said. Are you hungry? Talked out? Stiff from sitting?
If you notice a pattern, establish a brief routine that feels restorative to you, Dr. Breaux said. “For some people that is taking a quick shower,” she added. “For others it’s taking the dog for a walk.”
I’ve stopped rushing directly into something “productive.” Instead, my new post-work regimen includes an immediate handful of hot honey nut mix, a short walk and the BBC podcast “The Food Chain.” If I have a little more energy, I’ll see if I can identify birdsong on my walk with the Merlin Bird ID app from Cornell Lab.
Be clear about what you need (like quiet time).
After talking to the experts, I realized that I needed quiet time as I changed gears. Still, I was not giving my teen the same consideration on the days I picked her up. Instead, I peppered her with questions like: “How was school?”
“Questions place demands on us,” Dr. Blossom said. “You have to organize your thinking, you have to respond to the question.” Instead, say something neutral and supportive, such as “I’m so glad to see you,” she suggested.
My husband works from home, so last week I asked him if he could stop firing questions at me when I walked through the door. He smirked a little but said he would.
The other night, he told me he was “glad to see me” as I reached for my snack and headed out for a walk. It was a little stiff, but I appreciated the effort. Meltdown averted.
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